Sunday, February 12, 2012

D-Time

Depolyment is rapidly sneaking up on us.  6 months of separation is, oddly, not that daunting to me - I never thought that I would be doing this long enough to say, "Hey, 6 months, I got this."  Now, please, understand that does not mean that I am thrilled to see CC go - I just realize my energy is better spent looking at the light at end of the tunnel than focusing on the long, dark tunnel itself.

To me, the worst part of deployment is goodbye.  The time leading up to it when you know it's coming and you want to cherish every minute and time is not cooperating with you.  Someone asked on their blog not too long ago, I apologize but I can not remember who, would you rather have a long deployment or a lot of short trips that add up to the same amount of time?  I wholeheartedly stand by my response of: give me the deployment.  It's one goodbye and one re-integration.  That is far easier for me emotionally and for my kids; the coming and going (which by the way is also a part of the crew chief life) is more taxing on everyone.

I am dreading another goodbye and another set of months where he will miss everything.  Yep, everything.  All 5 of our birthdays, our anniversary, etc.  I'm sad to think of all the milestones he will miss with the kids.  Bubba will be starting big boy school in the fall.  Sissy will move up to preschool.  Liss is really starting to talk.

Yet, I have already set my list of goals and laid out how I will make it through these months.  I know it will fly by, once it gets started.  And, that's my struggle.  I truly don't want him to go but at the same time, deep down, my heart is screaming "Please, just go so you can come home!"  It's a crazy feeling.  Oh well, such is the life of a military wife.

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