Monday, April 9, 2012

Pity party? No, thank you.

So, in preparing to deal with CC's deployment, I needed to talk to my supervisor about taking a day off work and chat with a few other coworkers about things that needed taken care of.  Blah, blah, blah.  The part that drives me crazy is that I feel as though they think I am going to fall apart right then and burst out in tears and wail about how I will never make it through.  The pitiful looks that I get make me so uncomfortable, especially when it appears that I further disappoint them by straightening up just a little more and saying, "No need to be sorry.  This is our life.  We can do this."

I know that non-military families do not understand how this is for us; I know that they have the best intentions, I really do.  But, I hate sharing what is going on when I feel like they are waiting on me to fall apart so that they can sweep in and rescue me.  I am a private person, I handle my business and I have great friends that are there when I need some extra support.  And, if I threw myself a pity party every time our lives were difficult, I would be curled up in bed most days feeling bad for myself.

And, truly, it does hurt and I do want to break down in tears in the middle of the most random things and conversations.  But, I know that I can't.  I know that I need to hold myself together and make it through.  Make him proud of me and support him through this. 

Strength party?  I'll take one of those.


  1. Thanks for writing this post... So many times people don't understand that as military spouses we are strong because we have to be.

    1. You're right. One of my sayings is: "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."